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Feeling or knowing that your girlfriend no longer loves y'all can be a heartbreaking and frustrating experience. Fortunately, while yous can't actually control or change how your girlfriend feels about you lot, there are things you can practice to aid salvage the human relationship. Communicate honestly with your girlfriend about where y'all stand and what yous can both do to improve things. Endeavor to rekindle your old feelings for each other with compassion, intimacy, and romantic gestures. If you don't experience like you can improve the situation on your own, look into couples counseling or individual therapy.

  1. 1

    Communicate with your girlfriend well-nigh what went wrong. If you want to repair your relationship with your girlfriend, yous will need to find out why she feels the style she does. Ask her if she can sit downward with y'all and have a centre-to-middle conversation virtually how she is feeling and what y'all can both do to make it better.

    • If you and your girlfriend have been fighting, wait until yous've both calmed downwards before having a discussion. Trying to talk while both of you are upset may pb to more fighting and resentment.[i]
    • You might beginning by telling her how yous feel, and then inviting her to requite you lot her perspective. Use "I" linguistic communication to express your feelings. For example, "I feel unloved lately, and I'm afraid we might be drifting apart. How are you feeling virtually things betwixt us?"
    • Practice your best to stay at-home and civil, and mind actively to what she has to say.

  2. 2

    Avoid blaming your girlfriend for bug in the human relationship. When things are going incorrect, it'due south easy to start pointing fingers. Instead of blaming her for any problems between you, listen to what she has to say with an open mind. In one case yous let her have her say, y'all may realize that you've been misinterpreting her words and actions.[2]

    • Fifty-fifty if your girlfriend is at least partly responsible for things going sour between yous, blaming her volition only put her on the defensive and create a deeper wedge between you lot.
    • Putting all the blame on her also takes away your own agency in the relationship and makes information technology harder for you to focus on making things better.[3]

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  3. 3

    Have responsibleness and apologize for your own mistakes. Calmly acknowledge your mistakes to your girlfriend and apologize without making excuses or trying to justify yourself. Remember that taking responsibleness doesn't mean blaming yourself for everything that goes incorrect. It just means reflecting on your own actions and recognizing that you there are things you lot may have done that contributed to the rift between the ii of you.[four]

    • For example, you might say, "You're right, I haven't been as circumspect to you lately as I should have been. I let myself get too caught up in my own projects and didn't actually think about your needs. I'grand sorry, and I'll make an attempt to practice better from now on."
    • Avoid apologizing in a manner that puts the blame on your girlfriend or excuses your actions. For instance, don't say something similar, "I'm sorry, only you shouldn't accept frustrated me like that."

  4. 4

    Validate her feelings . Listening to what your girlfriend has to say about what she'due south feeling may be hard, only information technology'southward actually a skilful matter if she's willing to open upward to y'all. Let her know that you lot recognize what she'south feeling and respect her right to experience that style. That volition go a long mode toward showing her that y'all actually care about her and the relationship.

    • Endeavour showing that you empathize what she feels by "reflecting" her feelings back in your own words.
    • For case, if she complains that you spend besides much time watching Boob tube instead of having quality fourth dimension with her, say something like, "Information technology sounds like you feel lonely and frustrated when I picket TV in the evenings instead of sitting down to chat with you over dinner."[5]

  5. 5

    Piece of work together to come up up with solutions. Once you lot've pinpointed the principal problems that are driving a wedge between you lot and your girlfriend, inquire her if she'd be willing to sit down downwardly with you and talk about what you tin both do to make things improve. Yous tin offer your own ideas, only be sure to ask for her input and listen carefully to what she has to say.

    • For example, if she's frustrated because she feels similar she's doing too much work in the relationship, talk most ways to split up your responsibilities more evenly. You could offer to have turns cooking or washing the dishes, for example.

  6. vi

    Make a commitment to modify and stay consistent. Acknowledging the areas where you lot demand to improve and promising to work on them volition not be enough. You demand to show your girlfriend through your actions that you are truly set to make a modify. Make specific promises and follow through on them.

    • For example, maybe your girlfriend has problem trusting you because yous've been unreliable in the past. Make a indicate of establishing consistent beliefs patterns going forward—e.g., if you say you are going to be home at a certain time, make sure you are at that place!
    • If y'all practise sideslip up, own upwards to it and apologize immediately.

  7. 7

    Respect her demand for space. If things are really bad betwixt y'all and your girlfriend, she may non even be willing to have a discussion right now. If she doesn't want to talk, don't try to strength it—she will only end upwardly feeling smothered and resentful. Instead, reach out and permit her know you are willing to talk whenever she's fix, so back off and go out her alone.[six]

    • You might say something like, "I understand that you don't feel like talking about things correct at present. I merely wanted to let yous know that I love you lot and really want united states to brand this work if we tin can. I'll be here if you want to talk."

  8. eight

    Accept that you may not be able to save the human relationship. Recollect that you can't actually control what your girlfriend does or how she feels about y'all. All you can do is let her know how you experience and do your best to show her that yous're willing to work on making things amend.[vii]

    • If your girlfriend does break upwards with y'all, respect her determination. Lashing out at her or pursuing her when she'due south asked you to leave her solitary will not make her more than inclined to give things another chance.

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  1. 1

    Ask your girlfriend how you tin help her feel loved. If your girlfriend is cooling off on you, information technology may be considering she's feeling unloved herself. Communicate with her openly and enquire her what you tin can do to show affection in a way that she will appreciate.[8]

    • Every woman is an individual, so don't presume y'all know what your girlfriend wants or needs. She might want more physical affection, or she may wish you'd spend more than time discussing her favorite books with her. You won't know until you lot enquire!

  2. 2

    Offer her sincere compliments every day. Everyone wants to feel appreciated, loved, and desired in a human relationship. One way to rekindle your girlfriend's involvement in your human relationship is to remind her of all the things you lot love about her.[ix]

    • Make sure not to just focus on superficial things, similar her advent. Your girlfriend probably appreciates hearing that y'all think she's beautiful, but remember to comment on who she is every bit a person, too.
    • You could compliment her on things like her personality, her accomplishments, or even memories of your fourth dimension together and what they mean to you.

  3. 3

    Make romantic gestures (and not just on Valentine's Twenty-four hour period). Think most the kinds of things you lot and your girlfriend did together in the early days of your human relationship, when things were exciting and fresh. Doing these things again can assistance bring dorsum erstwhile feelings and evidence that you are still interested in making the relationship fun and joyful.[10]

    • For example, you lot might try surprising your girlfriend with a gift or taking her back to the aforementioned place where you lot had your first engagement.
    • More practical gestures tin can be romantic, too—for instance, you lot could surprise her by cooking her favorite dinner or offer to give her a massage later a long day at work.

  4. four

    Be intimate without expecting sex . If you desire sex all the time, your girlfriend might offset feeling like intimacy is a job. Give her some space, but don't hold back from offer other gestures of affection, like hugging, cuddling, kissing, or holding hands. You may observe that she becomes more interested in sex activity in one case you cease trying to initiate information technology as ofttimes.[xi]

    • You may likewise find it helpful to take an open and honest talk with your girlfriend about what both of you expect from your sex life. Finding out what she likes and doesn't like tin improve your intimate moments and help you lot connect on a deeper level.

  5. 5

    Prove a genuine involvement in things she cares most. Accept time to really go to know your girlfriend and become familiar with her values and interests. She'll feel a stronger and deeper connexion with you if you lot're able to show that you are interested in who she is equally a person.

    • For case, y'all might enquire your girlfriend questions near the things she's interested in. Watch movies or read books with her so that you can discuss them together.
    • If she has whatever favorite hobbies, consider trying them out together.
    • Fifty-fifty if you don't detect all of her interests that exciting, yous can show her that y'all value her by making time to listen when she wants to talk about the things she loves.

  6. 6

    Allow yourself to be vulnerable with her. Open to your girlfriend about your thoughts and feelings. If you're not used to being vulnerable, this tin feel scary or uncomfortable at beginning. However, doing and then will help create a more meaningful connection betwixt the two of you and will show your girlfriend that you trust her and feel at ease with her.[12]

    • Existence open and vulnerable tin can likewise help you get your needs met, considering your girlfriend will have an easier fourth dimension agreement and empathizing with you.

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  1. one

    Ask your girlfriend to nourish couples counseling with you lot. If your relationship is really strained or stagnant and yous aren't making much headway on your own, talk to your girlfriend well-nigh counseling. An experienced counselor can aid you make sense of what's going wrong in your relationship and work with both of you to develop strategies for improving things.

    • Going to couples counseling is also a good way to show your girlfriend that you are serious most making the relationship work.
    • Practise an online search or ask your dr. to recommend good couples counselors in your area.
    • If physical intimacy is a big problem in your relationship, y'all might do good from seeing a sexual activity therapist.

  2. 2

    Go to counseling on your own if she won't go with you. If your girlfriend is unwilling to get to counseling with you, don't attempt to force the outcome. You lot may notwithstanding find that you can benefit from seeing a therapist on your own, however. They tin requite you communication on how to arroyo your human relationship in a healthier way or—if necessary—to move on.

    • Await for a therapist who has experience helping people with relationship issues. You might see a clinical psychologist, a marriage and family therapist, or a licensed clinical social worker.

  3. 3

    Look into relationship support groups in your area. Support groups can exist great tools for helping you lot work through your relationship challenges. Ask your doctor or therapist to recommend a support group for relationship issues in your expanse, or do an online search for couples support groups almost you.

    • Back up groups can be led by professional person counselors or completely peer-based.
    • Being with other couples facing like challenges can assist you proceeds insight into your own situation. A grouping can too exist a safe and supportive space for y'all and your girlfriend to piece of work through your issues together.

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Add New Question

  • Question

    Can a girl autumn back in dearest with y'all while you're dating?

    Joshua Pompey

    Joshua Pompey is a Human relationship Good with over 10 years of helping people navigate the online dating earth. Joshua has run his own relationship consulting business organisation since 2009 at a success rate of over 99%. His piece of work has been featured in CNBC, Skilful Morn America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.

    Joshua Pompey

    Relationship Proficient

    Expert Respond

    Support wikiHow by unlocking this skillful respond.

    Absolutely. However, if y'all're in a human relationship and their feelings are fluctuating dramatically from day to day, it's really not a skillful sign. Yous may feel similar a 10 1 day, and a nine the next mean solar day, but it should exist moderately consistent.

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  • If y'all call up your girlfriend is abusive or that your relationship has go toxic, it'southward important to leave the relationship for your own health and safety. Don't try to stay with anyone who regularly manipulates you, insults or belittles you, attempts to command y'all, threatens you, violates your boundaries, or physically hurts you.

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